Seeking Lao Tong

Lao Tong (Mandarin)
Lit; “old same”; a form of eternal friendship between “heart sisters” – two women who are closer than husband and wife.

IMG_3933.JPG(A peony– they signify honour, beauty, wealth and riches, romance, and much more)

I’ve always wanted that tight-knit group of friends. You know, like in the movies? They’re your absolute best friends, and you couldn’t imagine your life without them; think How I Met Your Mother or Friends. I feel like we all want that, and some of us are even lucky enough to have such a group of people in their lives. We all want that group where unbelievable memories and stories spark from. The kind of group that quickly becomes a home to you.

I came to UBC all by myself. Having lived in Burnaby for 6 years as a kid meant that I did know of a handful of people coming to UBC, and a few others in different colleges, but the distance and the amount of time I was gone meant that I wasn’t as close anymore. Nothing bad, just that drifting occurred. It hurt a bit, seeing people in their own, isolated groups from high school or other backgrounds. Sometimes they’re nice and let you in, other times you’re just an outsider, trying to look in. Or the worst: being that third wheel, the one that’s forgotten, the one that’s not as close as the others.

During high school I thought I had been part of a tight-knit group, or the makings of one. Until, of course, drama would occur, or the endless girl-bashing and just repeated conversations over and over again. Not all of it was bad; we were all going into different paths, leading to different futures that likely meant leaving Winnipeg or staying. So needless to say, that group probably wasn’t going to make it (most of them don’t actually talk to each other now). After leaving them and going to Vancouver, you truly see who you’re actually friends with, and who you were only friends with because you saw them everyday of every week from September to June.

Personally, I always thought making friends was a tad difficult. You’re never sure of everything, and in university, some people are only there for school and work, nothing else. Sometimes, those people just use you for homework, which hurts. Other times, it can be hard to find people you just vibe with; the campus is so large here that you meet all different kinds of people, and it may take a while to find out who you truly connect with. But it’s bound to happen; maybe not in university, but sometime later in life, you’ll likely find people that make you realize life would be dull without them.

So far, I’ve learned that it’s definitely something you can’t hunt down. You can’t really make this a quest, you know? Kind of like love, it just happens. You just get out there, maybe you join a couple of clubs or something, and out of nowhere, your life is altered in a different way (without regrets, of course). All I can say is to get out there, do stuff, go to places. You might meet new people, you might not, you might just be alone for a little longer. However, like everything else in life, it’s worth giving it a shot! Have a good day 🙂

Meanings for a peony flower can be found here: